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“I have no interest in watching MMA, let’s roll to Hofbrauhaus and drink some beer and…” said my buddy Isaiah, an exec. at The Venetian.

“You go, I’m watching the fight. I’ll come over when it’s done.”

So I’m talking to Ken the dentist visiting from San Diego to my left when a kid, by kid I mean 22-year-old, pulls up next to me in the seat Isaiah had just vacated. I was hoping for someone of the female variety, obviously, but he seemed decent enough. I was slightly alarmed that he ordered a beer rather than a real drink, like Ken and I, but I reminded myself that the youth of today, well let’s face it, they’re little girls when it comes to vice. Anyway, I included him in the fight conversation with Ken and unlike my buddy Isaiah he did indeed have an interest in some good old ass kicking.

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“So what is there to do around here,” he asked.

“This is Vegas, what is there not to do?” I responded. “You’re not from around here are you?”

“I’m from Sweden, I’ve been here for four hours…”

“You’ve never been to Vegas before?” He shook his head. And that’s when I notice two average looking young girls eyeing me, they had “college kids playing hooker in Vegas” written all over them—so I waved them over. I figure that I don’t really give as much money as I should to charity, but I make up for it by helping kids like these two get through school. And since I was feeling particularly philanthropic I nodded toward my new friend from Sweden, thinking that he might like to get a proper start in Vegas.

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“So do you want to go up to your room and get naked, the four of us?” asked part time college hooker number one.

They did a little whispering in Sweden’s ear.

“I’m just a student…” he uttered, nervously.

“They looked at me. “I’m trying to watch a fight here.” They left and I turned to Sweden. “How much did they want?”

“Six hundred, for both.”

“They were worth three hundred each all day long. If I didn’t just do a threesome at the Hilton I would have picked up the check.”

“How did you know they were…uh…uh…”

“Pros. I’ve been coming to Vegas since I’m three and I own blogsincity—it’s my job to know these things.”

“I want your job…” he sighed, then continued. “My friend that I came with fell asleep up in the room and I lost a hundred and twenty gambling.”

I’m such a sucker for a sob story and let’s face it blogsincity is kind of an unofficial ambassador. “Do you like gentlemen’s clubs?”

“I love strip clubs,” he answered, his face aglow.

Fedor caught Brett Rogers with a right in the second, down went Rogers. “C’mon I’ll take you to the best gentlemen’s club you’ve ever been to.”

I called Treasures to let them know I was on my way. They offered to send the limo for me, but I was feeling okay to drive.

A Few Minutes Later

“This is your car?”

I nodded. “Beats the hell out of a Saab, doesn’t it.”

“I can’t believe this…It’s like a dream. I come to American and now I’m hanging out with a famous writer—and driving in this car, this is crazy man.”

And then, top down, I rolled toward Treasures with Sweden riding shotgun, which I hoped would not be too upsetting to the ghost of Howard Hughes, who’s grown accustomed to the seat. If Sweden only knew the company he was really keeping.

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Now given that there is no vice, which doesn’t hold some interest for me, I think of gentlemen’s clubs as the closest I’m ever going to come to good clean fun. And for the distinguishing gentleman there is no club as distinctly elegant as Treasures. There is a time and place for clubs with fully nude eighteen-year-olds and clubs with a bunch of young lasses that look like they’ve jumped from the pages of Playboy onto your lap, but given that I’m pretty sure that Sweden is in Europe, geography is not my thing, I felt that the European feel and vibe of Treasures was just what the fight doctor ordered for my young friend.

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I said hi to Alson, Nick, and my old buddy Jacko Smiley, all of whom I’ve known since the days of producing “Stan Lerner’s Night Tribe” at the Rio Hotel and Casino. It’s always good to see the boys and even better to sit at my table—that would be table 37 for my readers who enjoy excessive details. Jacko, who always knows just what I’m looking for, sent what I term my Mrs. Rights—two of them anyway. Both Riley and Mercedes are what dreams filled with precipitation are made of. My hart warmed as Mercedes took Sweden off for a VIP adventure. And I have to admit that I was almost overwhelmed by the thought of what it must be like to be a proud father, and yes it’s a reoccurring theme of this blog, but I really think I’d make the coolest dad ever.

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“I wish you were my uncle or something,” said Sweden.

I held back tears. “Hey, it’s no big deal. I just wanted you to have a good impression of America and Americans—you can’t believe all the bad press we get.”

“What are you talking about? I’m going to move here when I’m done with school. This has been the best night of my life. And I’m going to tell everyone in Sweden about your blog…Maybe I can work for you.”

I raised Jack and Coke number twenty. “I’ll drink to that. But if you want to work for me you better never let a two for six hundred hooker deal get away.” We laughed and toasted.

“I promise boss, never again.”

“You hungry? Because in Vegas, if you roll with me, breakfast is always around three or four. Of course sometimes it has to be room service, if you know what I mean.”

“I’m up for anything.”

So I took junior for a ride down the strip to the Bellagio for breakfast feeling good about doing a good deed. See good deeds are like bouncing a ball, you put your hands on it for a moment, send it the best direction you know, and then you just never know where that ball bounces to—hopefully to a great place.

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And although I usually just stick to storytelling, I enjoyed taking Sweden to Treasures so much, I’m going to make this a part of blogsincity’s mission statement. I have a bottle table at Treasures every Tuesday and Saturday—late night. If any blogsincity readers want to join the party just text me at 213 400-4559 and let me know. You can ride in the limo with my posse and you won’t have to pay to get in—but the Mrs. Rights are on you!!!

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So last we left off I had just left the Michael Jackson “This Is It” premier at the Palms / Brenden Theatre. And I was feeling the terrible effects of the bite from the zombie girl that I had, had sex with in the bathroom at Mickie Finnz…And the ghost of Howard Hughes had given me some troubling advice as I drove to meet Jessie “James Super VIP Host” Gibson who was helping Nightlife Marketing Guru Alicia decorate Cherry Nightclub at the Red Rock Casino…

“This is Stan?” Alicia asked Jessie, as I strolled up to Cherry, which was in the process of getting a large pair of fangs over its entrance—to give it the proper atmosphere for the upcoming Halloween Fang Banger’s Ball.

“Yeah,” responded Jessie.

“He’s hot for a middle aged writer.”

I took her hand and kissed it. “Flattery and money will get you everywhere with me. What would you like me to review?” I gesticulated toward my own finely tailored double-breasted suit. “I was at a movie premiere thus the suit…Otherwise I’ve been dressing more casual so as to fit in and get good stories…Fly on the wall kind of thing…But it hasn’t been working.”

“You look a little pale. Are you feeling okay?” asked Jessie.

“We need to talk, I need your help.”

Jessie nodded toward the club. “We have the whole bar to ourselves.”

This of course made me forget about all of my problems!!! Moments later with a Jack and Diet in hand I tried to think of a subtle way to explain my strange pallor.

“Remember the zombie girl I had sex with in the bathroom while I was on a first date with Roxy?”

Jessie nodded. And Alicia laughed and said, “I loved that blog!”

I sighed. “Everyone did. But she bit me and now I’ve got zombie fever.”

“That’s not good,” said Jessie, probably wishing James “Hollywood Deal Maker” Westbrook hadn’t asked him to look after me while I stayed in Las Vegas indefinitely.

“It gets weirder,” I continued, “the ghost of Howard Hughes was just riding shotgun with me in the Benz and he said the only cure is to seduce a married midget—otherwise I’m a zonbie—f*ck, I can’t believe this happened. Everyone else just gets herpes and I get this.”

Alicia just giggled, clearly realizing that Jessie wasn’t’ kidding when he told her he had never met anyone quite like me.

“Stan do you think the fact that you’ve only slept nine hours in the last seven days might have something to do with all of this.”

I pulled up my sleeve and showed him my see through skin and fluorescent veins.

“Wooooo,” said Jessie, as he stared at evidence of my rapidly changing state.

“Do something,” said Alicia, no longer giggling.

“Okay, no big deal, I’m a VIP host I can make anything happen in this town. Why not this? How long did the ghost of Howard Hughes say that you have?”

“He didn’t, but I don’t think too long.”

“Look it’s Halloween all weekend. I’ll just invite a bunch of midget couples to our table at Prive…I’m sure you can take it from there.”

“No, I’m going to need your help. My girlfriend is flying in tomorrow, so I’ll need you to keep her distracted.”

“You have a girlfriend????” asked a stunned Jessie. “You’ve slept with nine girls and a zombie in the last six days.”

“This is funnier than your blogs,” added Alicia.

I sighed. “I tried to break up with here when she turned twenty-one, but she just won’t leave me alone.”

This puzzled Alicia. “Why’d you try to break up with her when she turned twenty-one?”

“Well now she can drink—way more expensive to date. And I can’t leave her outside when I go to clubs anymore…”

Alicia nodded and turned to Jessie. “He has to hang out with us all of the time…”

THE FOLLOWING NIGHT

“Hey get that off of my head,” said the midget whose head I had accidentally rested my class filled with Jack and Diet on.

“Oh, sorry about that little fellow…I meant to put it down on the railing…”

“Little fellow? If I wasn’t here with my wife I’d let you have it right in the balls,” said the angry midget.

I held up my hands. “Your wife?”

“That’s right I have a wife you loser, I’m married and you’re not.”

Normally this would have hurt my feelings, but on this particular occasion I knew that I would have to overcome my unusually sensitive emotional state.

I handed him my drink. “Here, a peace offering. I apologize for being an idiot…I want to be friends.”

Fortunately the line for the bathroom was long so I managed to down four doubles with my new little buddy in a matter of a few minutes. And by the time his Mrs. made it to the table he was a babbling mess. I should mention here that she was a perfect ten, in the miniature sense of the terminology. I’m talking a three-foot version of Megan Fox—literally. I’ve never wanted anything so little so much. I glanced at Jessie who had my girlfriend on the dance floor dancing away, totally clueless as to what I was up to. At least until she gets back to LA and reads this blog.

“What happen to him?” asked little Megan.

 I shrugged. “We were just having some drinks.”

“Great, I wanted to have fun tonight. Now I’m a babysitter—on Halloween.”

“C’mon sit down and have a drink…” I lifted her up onto the couch. “I’ll have my limo take him home and put him to bed.

“Really, you don’t even know us. And most people aren’t so kind to small people. This isn’t one of those goof on people shows is it?”

“Well I’ve never had a small…I mean I’ve never known any small people before, but if you don’t mind me saying so, you’re f***n hot.”

She stared into my eyes. “Why don’t you have your car take him home…”

Because I like to think of blogsincity as a family friendly blog, I normally at this point of a story would say something like, “I’ll spare you the details,” but I can’t. See since my back surgery over ten years ago I haven’t been able to have standup aerial sex with anyone that’s even close to my size. But with mini-Megan, every spot in the room was new territory—oh, and the long forgotten sex in the shower, I can’t stop smiling even now as I write these words. So, for any of my friends and readers that haven’t have had sex with someone a little over the one-yard mark, you’re missing out on at least twenty positions you can’t possible get into with someone your own size.

I looked up at my new little friend as she road me so gracefully and felt compelled to utter the truth. “You saved my life you know.”

“Messing with zobies were you? Hope you learned your lesson…”

“Tell me about it. Next time she’s wearing a muzzle before anything happens.”

Mini Megan smiled. “Well I’m glad I could help. It makes me feel a little less guilty about this.”

“So if the zombie girl bites me again, it kind of makes this okay?…” My mind processed all of the possibilities as mini-Megan nodded the affirmative. “Well, then I guess there’s really no point of blowing money on a muzzle.”

Later

“Where were you?” asked the girlfriend from LA.

“I had a little something to do up in the room…And you were having so much fun…”

“Jessie’s a really good dancer. I feel bad because I know he has clients to pay attention to, but I’m having so much fun.” She gave me a huge hug. “You’re such a great boyfriend.”

I turned to Jessie who looked like he needed to ask me a question.

“Are you feeling better?”

“Oh, yeah much better.” I smiled. “The little things really do make a difference.” I looked from Jessie to my girlfriend from Cali, who quite ironically was dressed as a dead bride. “Would you like to dance?”

She smiled. “I thought you’d never ask…”

And as Halloween weekend came to an end I couldn’t help but to feel that warm feeling that comes over me when I’m headed to yet another good party—that’s right I was headed to Red Rock Casino / Cherry Nightclub for a little Sunday night fang banging.

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Roxy wanted to go to dinner—and I was confident that I could squeeze it in, drop her back off, she lives way the hell out there, and still meet Jessie “James Super VIP Host” Gibson at Prive by 10:30. And that’s how good a time I had the night before—I was going back to the same club two nights in a row—unheard of in Sin City. Oh, and then I planned on going to Toa and Noir…I call this a Las Vegas Grand Slam…I know Alec Silverman is out there somewhere waiting to correct me factually given I’ve only named three places, but a Las Vegas Grand Slam has nothing to do with places, so not going to happen old sport.

What I hadn’t planned on was a sexual encounter with a zombie. See, I decided to take Roxy to Freemont Street and enjoy some fish tacos outside at Mickie Finnz…Out of the gutter boys I really wanted fish tacos. Anyway, it turns out unbeknownst to either Roxy or myself that there was a dance of the dead going on upstairs—and a good dance of the dead is always preceded by a march of the dead, in this particular instance down Freemont Street. So there I was in the bathroom minding my own business taking care of business…

“Excuse me this is the men’s bathroom,” I said to the extremely attractive, mutilated, Catholic schoolgirl.

“I’m a zombie…I can use either men’s or women’s, because I’m dead—stupid. Nice package by the way.”

I smiled. “Thanks. I mean I’m here with someone…I mean we’re just friends.”

“I’m dead it doesn’t matter. Having sex with a zombie isn’t cheating.” She sat on the sink revealing that zombies apparently don’t wear underwear when they go out dancing.

“Did you follow me in here on purpose?”

“I’m cold…Are you going to warm me up or what?”

I sighed. “What the hell I’m in Vegas.” The problem of course being that I’m a blogger and nothing I do stays anywhere and I might decide to run for political office one day. Well at least I have no skeletons in the closet—maybe a zombie or two.

Now this is where it gets weird, weirder—she was cold and I mean like really dead cold.

“You’re the coldest person I’ve ever had sex with,” I whispered to her romantically as we had sex in the bathroom, which you could actually get in trouble for these days in uptight California.

“Because I’m a zombie…”

“Whatever,” I responded.

“It’s a medical condition in my case—I’m no wanna be…My heart only beats twenty times a minute and my blood pressure is ninety over fifty on a good day.”

I don’t know why, but this really turned me on.

More about the zombie girl later. When I got back to the table Roxy was not hearing any of my stomach ach-story.

“Really, does your lip always bleed when you have an upset stomach?”

“Spider bite…It got me while I was sitting there.”

Note: boys if you decide to have sex with zombie girls they bite, and I mean really hard. So don’t even think about doing this kind of thing when you’re on a date with someone else.

Anyway, I took Roxy all the way home. And it doesn’t appear that we will be hanging out anymore. But come on, who could pass on anything so random. I should get a get out of jail free card for helping the living dead in need.

Prive was off the hook. Not as off the hook as Friday, but JD spinning had brought a lot of people out for a Friday as mentioned one blog and a zombie ago. The table, the bottles and Miles, Bill, and Isaiah and a bunch of girls. Jessie “James Super VIP Host” Gibson and the party was on. I of course talked blogging with the boys and smoked a Don Vicente Cigar. But I couldn’t talk to any of the girls due to the memory of that cold, hot zombie flesh.

“Let’s go to Tao,” said Jessie “James Super VIP Host” Gibson.

“I need to do something,” I responded.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

And then at the exit Jessie ran into someone he needed to talk to. A girl grabbed me by the arm.

“You’re coming with me…Nobody ignores me all night.”

“What? Who are you?”

“That’s what I mean. I’ve been trying to get your attention all night long.”

“Why?”

“I’ve always wanted to be with a man older than my father. And we’re in Vegas.”

“Oh, in that case sorry to have ignored you, but I just had sex in a bathroom with a dead girl.”

She laughed. “You’re funny…That’s almost as big a turn on as old and bald.”

“I’m out of shape as well.” This closed the deal.

So we went up to her room…I’ll spare you the details, suffice it to say she was warm and normal and before zombie girl this would be every mid life crisis guy’s dream.

With a very drunk Jessie “James Super VIP Host” Gibson in my car I headed for Tao. Tao like Prive was going off and as I followed Jessie “James Super VIP Host” Gibson around the room shaking hands and absconding with drinks from each and every bottle table I noticed that I had begun to emulate Jessie’s unusual style of navigating through crowds. At some point we were visiting the DJ booth and I was drumming away on the ledge that surrounds it and grooving a little to the music.

“You’re the “Night Tribe” guy,” said the brunette that had magically appeared by my side.

“You were twelve when I was the “Night Tribe” guy. Who put you up to this?” I looked around the room for whatever friend was not aware that I had just slept with a zombie and a very hot girl in the same night.

“I’m twenty-six, I was at “Night Tribe” for my twenty-first birthday. You bought me and my friends drinks, you were so nice. And it’s so great when you go up and drum.”

“I only did that every now and then. Did I sleep with you?”

“No, I was too shy.”

I laughed. “Trust me you did the right thing. I’m no fan of my own promiscuity.”

Now she laughed. “Shut the f*ck up.”

Smiling at the absurdity. “I’m serious. I actually believe in getting married and being faithful and all that…”

“I’ve been waiting five years to run into you…” putting her arm around me, “I have a limo downstairs. Let’s take a ride.”

And even though I plan to give all this up soon and get married and have a family—I said yes. It’s not like I was on my best behavior all night anyway.

And for all my friends / readers who have never driven up and down the Strip and had sex in the back of a stretch limo, you really don’t know what you’re missing.

“Where have you been?” asked Jessie “James Super VIP Host” Gibson, as I reappeared at the club.

“Limo ride with an old friend.”

He shook his head. “You’re going to run out of places to…Never mind. I thought you wanted to go see your boy Carlos “Pure” Harper over at Noir?”

I nodded. “Let’s go.”

Carlos “Pure” Harper had a bunch of tables going at LAX so he couldn’t really hang, but I had been wanting to introduce him and Jessie “James Super VIP Host” Gibson for a while, so I’m glad they got a chance to vibe.

“Hey,” said the girl at the bar next to me. My boys were vibing so why not?

“Do you have a room here,” I asked.

She nodded.

“Want to just skip the conversation and go upstairs?” I asked. “Not that I don’t love to talk…”

She grabbed my hand and we left the boys to their conversation.

And yes every now and then my behavior gives me pause, but I really liked all of these girls—especially the dead one. I keep thinking one day I’ll just be too old for this…I guess this just wasn’t that day. I love this city! Oh, and to my boy Alec—that’s a Las Vegas Grand Slam!!!

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Enter: Jessie “James Super VIP Host” Gibson now known to all from my previous blog “Tao”…If you haven’t read the back story you’re not getting the full benefit of my debauchery—and I sacrifice for you / your reading pleasure.

“Let’s meet up at the Country Club at Wynn,” said Jessie “James Super VIP Host” Gibson. “You’re going to like it, it has a great view…And I spend my whole life in hotels and clubs, so I can use a view of the outdoors.”

“I’m on my way. Oh, and I’d like to schedule some time with Roberto “Chef Dos Caminos” Hernandez to talk about Dos Caminos and his whole chef story.

“He’s sitting here with Roxy and Armando,” replied Jessie “James Super VIP Host” Gibson, satisfied to have anticipated my desire to get to know the destined for greatness young chef. Discovering great things and great, talented people is my thing. It doesn’t pay cash, but it makes me a happy person.

The outside tables had all been taken, the weather in Vegas is gorgeous this time of year, and Jessie “James VIP Host” Gibson, his sidekick from LA whose name I can never remember but he knows a bunch of people or something, Roberto “Chef Dos Caminos” Hernandez, Roxy, and Fat Andy, who I brought along to keep me company, all sat in a large round table in the far corner. But of course there is no table far enough to keep a group like this from clearing the place.

I should mention here that Roxy is attractive, not textbook attractive like most of the girls I sleep with, but there is that something special about her. And she is way smarter than the average person. And her wit, though not quick as mine, but whose is, her wit is keen. And I like that. So when she said to Fat Andy, “I want to teach second grade, but I don’t think I want to have kids.” I said, “You’ll change your mind about that once you get to know me.” She retorted, “I’ve changed my mind already.” Jessie “James Super VIP Host” Gibson’s friend whose name I can never remember with a sweeping motion of his arm cleared the dishes to the floor. “Just go for it!” And for a moment I seriously contemplated having intercourse with Roxy on the table. But then it dawned on my that she was probably just kidding about having my children, which made for a good laugh for all…And some explaining about the dishes—the old allergic reaction excuse came quickly to my tongue.

“Have any of you accidentally smoked PCP?” I asked, a little too loudly. This cleared out the nice family at the table next to us. And I imagine by now you’re getting that this was a zany fun lunch. In fact so zany and fun I forgot to order and had to settle for eating everyone’s left over French fries before leaving. The food looked great. And even though I might possibly be a little in the doghouse at the Wynn these days everyone should do lunch at the Country Club at least once.

With lunch at an end, and this is really funny, Jessie “James Super VIP Host” Gibson, having to go throw up—the night before of drinking with me at Tao had caught up. His friend texting some girl, like a girl, I managed to talk Roberto “Chef Dos Caminos” and Roxy into going to Don Vicente’s Cigar factory (624 Las Vegas Blvd.). Roxy attempted to smoke her first cigar and Roberto “Chef Dos Caminos” Hernandez was a perfect fit with my boys Downtown. And there is a responsibility incumbent on old school Vegas veterans such as this humble writer to properly educate the next generation.

Wow, I’m not going to fit the whole weekend into one blog…This has just occurred to me and I like the idea of including my readers in a real time artistic decision so I’ll just keep this blog to Prive Las Vegas.

I sat at the bar of Strip Steakhouse drinking alone, waiting for Jessie “James Super VIP Host” to arrive with the rest of the gang, all of whom were already feeling the effects of hanging out with me in Vegas—an experience that should be sold for big money. But I like drinking alone, so this was a good thing…The three girls at the end of the bar were spectacular. And when I say spectacular, you know I mean SPECTACULAR! Of course a bit later Jessie “James Super VIP Host” informed me that they were the three stars of “Peep Show”. This was just after introducing me to Joe “VP” Eustice. Joe’s a great guy and I’m always appreciative of executives who have a sense of humor about my antics. At some point I’ll write about what an improvement Planet Hollywood is over the former Aladdin.

But what I have to say as time runs short and word count runs long is that Prive Las Vegas is a huge, huge improvement over Curve—the club that formerly occupied this space. And while Prive Las Vegas is not a brand new club, a lot of Vegas veterans, like yours truly, just haven’t gone to see what they’ve done with the place—this is a mistake. Prive Las Vegas is not a reprocessed Curve as I had assumed, it really is a new and redesigned space, so my bad for not going a long time ago. Also, I should mention for people in the know that while Prive Las Vegas had been shut down by the powers that be for being lax with respect to some security / patron behavior issues, there was no evidence of this while I was there—they definitely seem to have it together. And I did notice that Joe “VP” Eustice stopped by to make sure everything was going the way it’s supposed to.

Our bottle table, well come on, I was with Jessie “James Super VIP Host” Gibson, you can imagine. Bottles and bottles, dancing on the couch, and Jessie dancing on the table—he has an amazing ability to navigate crowds and jump over things. The crowd was big, in no small part due to Jermaine Dupre being there to DJ. I’m all about House and Dance, so Jermaine isn’t my cup of tea spiced up with Jack, but the crowd was loving him. And he did play some tunes worth grinding on Roxy to—so thanks for that JD.

“Will you drive me home?” asked Roxy, who had very cutely gone home after Don Vicente’s and gotten all dolled up for the night out—a sure sign that having my children was becoming a better and better idea.

“Of course I’ll drive you home.” Thankfully she only lived a ridiculous number of miles away and not California.

I would love to give you all of the details surrounding the events of the rest of the evening, but I need to get to the Palm for a meeting and then hit the town and see what’s going on, on Sunday nights in Sin City. This will just have to be continued… And wait til you hear about Saturday night and what I term a Vegas Grand Slam!!!

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“Let’s meet at Don Vicente’s and smoke some cigars,” said Dave The Jew.

“Good idea,” said I, as I plowed down the 15 toward Sahara—completely blowing off a very important meeting with Steve Wynn. Okay, the meeting with Steve Wynn is a complete falsehood, but you have to admit the pretext makes for a funny story.

Anyway, check out my blog about Don Vicente’s Cigars—in fact I’ll repost it on Monday when I will be way too tired from the weekend to write anything. So I sat and smoked cigars, really good cigars, with the boys—Dave The Jew, Fat Andy and others. Andy and I have been friends since second grade; just to throw in an extraneous fact meant to cause an endearing feeling about long lasting friendships. At some point Jessie stopped by. He’s not a big smoker, but I lighted him up anyway and Dave The Jew insisted that he drink some good whiskey…And I did too.

Six cigars and half a bottle later I met up with Jessie “James” VIP Host and a friend of his from LA whose name I can’t remember, but I’m sure he knows everyone. At Dos Caminos, which is located in Palazzo…And last week I gave Palazzo a pretty good review. Strange that I had noticed Dos Caminos, but didn’t mention it because I hadn’t eaten there. Anyway, at Dos Caminos we chilled with Executive Chef Roberto Hernandez and ate an incredible assortment of food. Roberto is all of 28 and he’s been cooking since he’s 4-years-old or something. I’m not going to get into a review here, but seriously my new best friend knows how to make some guacamole and chips. Funny, but just a touch of lime really makes a difference apparently. This restaurant is a sleeper—it could easily be way hot one day.

Tao—Jessie “James” VIP Host whisked us through the line. Somehow a few of my mypace and facebook friends managed to join—five very hot young ladies and a huge Samoan named Puki—I think. We sat them at a table and made the rounds. By that I mean I walked around the club with Jessie stealthily observing as he made sure his clients were happy. Not a gargantuan task, given that his clients were sitting at bottle tables at one of Vegas’s hottest clubs. I slipped a little drink in at every stop, so by the time we met up with Jaimee “NapkinNights” Lee I was mildly inebriated. Jaimee / NapkinNights and I have some history—not of a carnal nature. See when I was producing the “Night Tribe Spectacle” at the Rio Hotel and Casino (2003) I gave their website full access, even though I had no idea what a napkin night was. The pics are still on the web!!!

Jaimee accompanied by Sandy “Hot GoGo Dancer” Nguyen and Danny, whom I haven’t named, yet, proved to be the icing on the cake. Tao is a great club and it was going off, with a surprising amount of talent for a Thursday night, but it always comes down to the people—and these three could make a Siberian Gulag bearable. I of course did everything I could to get Sandy to come home with me…Not really, but like the Steve Wynn scenario it would make a great story, she gives an incredible back rub, seriously her hands contain magic and that was at the bar with my clothes on. You see what I’m saying, good people having fun at a club, Vegas at its best.

Today’s adventure is already well underway. But let me just add this—I’LL BE AT PRIVE TONIGHT!!! If you’re around you might want to come along, Jessie “James” VIP Host has a table waiting for us!!!

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